i'm trying so hard. it's like the harder i try the more it hurts. i feel so vurnerable without my journal. "after all you've done to me i won't speak to you." i'm trying so hard to not cry. thats what started all of this. i cried because of him and now she hates me. if she'll return my journal i'll do whatever she wants. i'll leave her life for good. her life, the pack, the only thing i can't do is leave inverness. i won't speak to her, i won't look at her, i won't go near her. if it would be better for her. i would hurt but if i could stop all of this.

so if i could just make myself better i could make this work. but now i have to help him with katt. to make them happy.i don't care about myself. i'm not worth it. i'm just some miserable girl whose been broken one too many times. i'm pretty much useless for anything but crying and making peoples lives better. that's the only thing that keeps me alive. those who love me (if anyone does) should be grateful to that.