whats really sad is that no one really knows how sad i really am. i can hide things better than i thought. only people who read this and are really close to me can really understand. all break i wrote my frustrations out on a very worn journal. it feels nice to let all of my anger out without hurting anyone. i saw katt today, probibly scared her by coming out of nowhere to hug her. she's like my sister, i love her so much. she knows what it's like, to constantly lose the one she so desperatly loves. so i guess, i'll give up on that, after trying so hard. i finnaly do realize that i never take care of myself as much as i do with others.